Elevator's Not Worthy
by GiGi Babineaux
Summary: Steve can't sleep, and he and Tony decide to go and wake up Thor to find out if the elevator is worthy to carry Thor's hammer, Mjolnir.
1. Chapter One

Steve tossed and turned in his bed, unable to fall asleep. The question repeated itself over and over in his head.

 _Is the elevator worthy?_

Finally, the Captain couldn't take it anymore. he had to know the answer, or he knew he would never be able to sleep again. He got out of his bed and put on a blue bathrobe. He glanced at his alarm clock. The numbers read 2:38 A.M. He yawned, and then opened the door of his suite.

Much to his surprise, Tony was sitting next to his door, staring into space.

"Tony?"

"Huh," Tony grunted.

Steve was concerned. "Are you drunk?"

"I'm never drunk," Tony snapped. "I need to know the answer."

Steve closed his door. "Let's go."

The two Avengers jogged purposefully to Thor's room, the same goal in mind.

Tony pounded on the door. There was no response, and the two slammed their fists on the door at the same time, knocking the aforementioned door to the ground.

Steve peeked into Thor's room, and had to restrain from laughing. Thor was curled up in a ball in the middle of his bed, clutching Mjolnir like one would hold a teddy bear.

Tony peeked under Steve's arm and snorted.

"What are we waiting for?"

"Well, we're going to have to wake Thor up," Steve pointed out.

Tony blinked. "I don't think an earthquake would wake him up."

Steve walked into the room and turned on the light. "Thor! Wake up! We need answers and you have them all!"

"Loki…no…don't make me read…" Thor muttered and rolled over in his sleep.

Steve would have facepalmed, but this was no time for flippancy. "Thor!"

"Go away, Loki. You're not going to make me be a test subject for one of your ridiculous magic tricks," Thor shouted, still asleep.

Steve felt a little guilty. "The poor guy. Still really attached to his rogue brother."

Then he realized he was talking to no one. Tony was gone.

"Tony?"

The Man of Iron came into the room, carrying a rather large bucket full of ice cubes and water.

"Oh, no…" Steve laughed softly.

"He won't kill me with his hammer if I do this, will he?" Tony asked.

Steve shrugged, then pulled his shield from underneath his bathrobe. "If he tries, I will protect you."

"You brought your shield." It was a statement, not a question.

"Yes. Now get on with it."

Obligingly, Tony dumped the entire contents of the bucket onto Thor's face.

The thunder god jumped up with a cry of alarm, fllinging Mjolnir out of the closed window.

"Oops," Tony said.

Thor shook his head, then rubbed the water out of his eyes, spluttering. "Friends, why do you do this?" He held his hand out, and Mjolnir came flying back through the Mjolnir-shaped hole in the window.

"We're going to see the elevator is worthy," Steve said.


	2. Chapter Two

"You want to see if the elevator is worthy?" Thor asked, yawning. "Good Captain and Man of Iron, couldn't you have waited until morning to bring this up again?"

Tony rolled his eyes at the nickname. "No time like the present. Well, come on! We haven't got all night! Well, we do, but that is beside the point."

Clearly annoyed, Thor got out of bed and followed Steve and Tony into the corridor.

"You could have knocked," Thor protested when he saw his fallen door.

"We did," Cap answered.

Thor muttered, "This is madness."

The trio trooped to the nearest elevator. There were a couple in the building. Steve pressed the up button, and they waited for the elevator to arrive.

Suddenly, Thor slumped down to the ground, unconscious. Well, on Tony on the ground. Stark saw him going down, and got in the way, thinking he could hold the muscular man up. Unfortunately, this just caused him to be pinned down. Steve jumped back in alarm, confused until he heard snores coming from Thor.

"Gah!" Tony yelped, trying to push Thor off of his person. "He fell asleep again! Capcicle! Help me up!"

Captain America did his best to comply, and managed to roll Thor off just when the elevator arrived. Tony stood up quickly and put a foot in the elevator to prevent it from closing shut.

"Thor!" Steve shouted. "You can't have just fallen asleep like that!"

"He did, genius," Tony said.

Then there was a new voice. "I know I'm going to regret asking this later, but what the heck are you two doing?" Natasha came walking groggily towards them. Then she noticed the sleeping Asgardian. "What happened to Thor? Why is he wet?"

Steve and Tony looked at each other, then back at their friend.

"You wouldn't happen to have an airhorn, would you?" Tony asked. "Thor fell asleep."

Natasha's face was expressionless. "Thor fell asleep. What was he doing out of bed in the first place? Sleepwalking?"

Steve felt himself turn pink. "Remember when I told you about my theory? The one about the elevator…and Thor's hammer?"

Allowing a small smile to pull her lips up, Natasha replied, "And you're testing the theory? At nearly three o'clock in the morning?"

"Yes," Tony answered. "Can we have that airhorn now?"


	3. Chapter Three

Two minutes later, Natasha handed Tony an airhorn. "I keep this in case of emergencies."

"What kind of emergencies?" Steve asked suspiciously.

Natasha shrugged. "You know. In case we ever need Bruce's Hulk-mode instantaneously in the middle of the night."

"So he can wreck the place," Tony muttered. "Great. Well, here goes nothing."

Steve and Natasha plugged their ears with their hands, and Tony with one hand and his shoulder. Then he pressed the button on top of the horn, and a mighty eruption of sound burst forth from the small contraption.

Thor was awake instantly.

"LOKI? WHY DID YOU THROW YOUR BED OUT OF THE WIND—Oh…" Thor gulped, awake at last. "Did I say that out loud?"

The three Avengers were staring at him in alarm and concern.

"You did," Steve said.

Thor coughed. "Eh, sorry...childhood memory…it didn't end well."

Stark actually looked impressed. "Loki threw his bed out of the window?"

"Yes, after he blew up his bedroom," Thor said hastily. "He was ten years old."

"Scary thought," Tony remarked.

Thor tried to change the subject. "Now—wait a minute, what am I doing here? Was I sleepwalking?"

Natasha spoke at last. "I believe you were testing the worthiness of the elevator."

Thor chuckled, recalling what had happened. "Ah, yes. We mustn't keep the good Captain and Man of Iron waiting for their answer."

The elevator door had closed long ago, so Thor pressed the up button, and the door slid open. But before anything else could happen, there was a very loud and far away _Crash,_ followed by more crashing noises, growing nearer and nearer.

From around the corner, Clint came sprinting in his pajamas. "NATASHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" He slammed into her, knocking them both to the floor. Clint scrambled to his feet and tried to help Natasha up, but she pushed him away and got up on her own.

"Clint!" the redhead cried. "What—"

"The airhorn!" Hawkeye cried. "What where you thinking? The Hulk!"

Sure enough, the Hulk came storming down the hallway, smashing the walls and anything and everything in his path. When he saw Natasha, he stopped, instantly growing calmer. Black Widow walked slowly to him, reaching her hand out-

-and Thor stepped on the airhorn.

* * *

 _Hello, my lovely followers and anyone else who is reading this._  
 _First off, I would like to credit Marvelite5ever for allowing me to reference Chapter Six of the fan fiction they wrote entitled "Loki's Pranks."_ _I definitely recommend finding it on their profile and reading the whole thing though. It's very funny, and it has lots of brotherly fluff._

 _Secondly, I don't like begging for reviews, but in this case, please let me know what you think is funny! Then I won't be haunted at night wondering if I'm making terrible jokes or not._


	4. Chapter Four

The airhorn exploded, letting out the most horrifying noise that Steve could ever remember hearing. Ever. Well…except for maybe…but there was no time to finish that thought. Nor was their time to be scared. Steve managed to squeeze it in, nevertheless.

"Run!" Thor roared.

Everyone without a weapon (that is, everyone except Thor and Steve) obeyed without a second thought. Normally this wouldn't have been the case, but it was three o'clock in the morning, and it had been a generous offer Thor had made.

The Hulk attacked Steve, and he blocked the blow with his shield which had been previously hidden surreptitiously underneath his bathrobe.

"Have no fear, Captain!" Thor cried, raising Mjolnir and packing Hulk a mighty blow, which sent him flying to the other side of the corridor.

It was at that instant that the unthinkable, the utterly _impossible_ happened.

Thor fell asleep.

With his mighty hammer on his stomach.

Steve ran through his options. The Hulk was storming towards the sleeping individual on the floor. Really, there was only one moral option. He had to save Thor from being smashed. He threw himself at Thor and tried to move him, even though the hammer had him pinned to the ground. As he pulled at Thor's leg, there was a metallic whoosh, and Mjolnir fell off of Thor. Steve gasped. Could it be?

Captain America lunged for Mjolnir, picking it up and hitting the furious Hulk in the stomach.

This all happened in barely a second.

Thus followed an epic battle between the worthy Captain, and the probably not-so-worthy Hulk, with Thor out for the count, dreaming about his brother, as per usual.

* * *

Meanwhile, Natasha, Clint, and Tony where running towards the weapon vault, looking for tranquilizer dart guns. Or tasers. Anything that could put the Hulk out of commission long enough for him to turn back to Bruce Banner.

"Is a tranquilizer dart gun gonna work?" Clint asked, unsure.

Natasha loaded her gun, looking calm as always. "I hope so."

Then a figure stepped out of the shadows.

"Ah, so we meet again," said Loki.


	5. Chapter Five

Natasha didn't even blink. She raised her tranquilizer dart gun and shot Loki. The syringe hit him in the stomach. He obviously hadn't seen that one coming (which was stupid if you thought about where they were), and by the time he got the syringe out, he had doubled over, unconscious.

Clint and Tony stared at her in amazement.

"I don't know why nobody thought of doing that last time we ran into this guy," Natasha muttered.

The Russian had a point.

* * *

The Hulk lay unconscious on the ground, next to a still sleeping Thor. Steve held Mjolnir in his right hand, gaping at his success. He couldn't believe it…what had made him worthy to wield Thor's weapon? Just as he was deciding that it probably had something to do with being willing to die for his snoring comrade, the Hulk turned back into Bruce Banner with a few violent shudders. Bruce sat up, clutching his pants tighter around his waist.

"Oh, no," he moaned. "What happened?" Then he noticed the hammer in the Captain's hand, and his mouth dropped open. "You're—you're carrying it?"

Steve nodded. "If it wasn't for that, you'd still be raging around the place in green-mode."

"Oh…" was all Bruce managed to say. Then he looked to his right, where Thor was snoring loudly. "Is Thor alright?"

Poking Thor gingerly with his foot, Steve said, "I think so. Just a bit…sleepy."

"Why did I turn into the Hulk in my sleep?" Dr. Banner demanded.

Steve looked a bit guilty. "That was sort of my fault...and Tony's. We wanted to see if the elevator was worthy, and Thor (being the only one who could carry the hammer at the time) fell asleep kinda randomly. The only way to wake him up was with the airhorn."

Bruce wasn't amused.

Lucky for Steve, the doctor didn't have time to respond, because Clint, Tony, and Natasha came walking into the corridor. Loki was slumped over Hawkeye's shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

"At least Loki doesn't snore in his sleep," Clint remarked, setting the frost giant down next to his brother.

"Loki?" Steve exclaimed in surprise. "Where was he?"

Tony answered, "In the weapons vault, if you can believe it. And why are you holding—" his eyes widened. "WHY IS STEVE CARRYING THOR'S HAMMER?"

"That's how he managed to knock me out of the Other Guy," Bruce said.

"I can't believe it," Tony said. "I knew you were sheltered, but not this sheltered!"

Steve decided not to take offense.

Clint cleared his throat. "So, what are we going to do about them?" He pointed at the two Asgardians.

Loki stirred.

"Steve immediately lowered Mjolnir on Loki's chest, trapping him sufficiently. "He's not worthy, is he?" Steve knew it was a pointless question, but still.

"Apparently not," Loki spoke for himself. He struggled for a bit, then turned to his brother. "Thor, wake up already!"

Thor was awake in an instant. "BROTHER! WATCH OUT FOR THAT TREE!" he yelled. Then he looked up at everyone. "Hello!" he said, smiling. "Good morning!"

Loki cleared his throat more loudly than was necessary.

Thor turned towards him. "BROTHER!" he cried. "YOU'RE ALIVE!" He pushed Mjolnir off of Loki and tackled him in an enormous bear hug. "I THOUGHT YOU DEAD!"

"I thought me dead too," Loki made fun of Thor's choice of words. "Get off of me, you big oaf."

Thor complied, then punched Loki's forehead, rendering him unconscious again. "Sorry, brother, but you're still dangerous."

"Well, let's throw him in our strongest holding cell," Thor said, grabbing Mjolnir and then standing up.

"What was with all the hugging?" Tony demanded.

"I thought he was dead," Thor said, still smiling. "I am glad he is not. Still, he probably is up to no good, so we might as well put him away until we get to interrogating him."

Then the window exploded.


	6. Chapter Six

Nick Fury jumped inside the building before anyone had a chance to panic. Bruce almost lost it, before he realized who it was. "We started getting strange readings!" the man cried, every bit of him looking just as menacing as always. "I think an Asgardian-"

"Old news, Fury," Tony said, rolling his eyes at the melodrama. "It was Loki."

"Him again!"

Tony snorted. "You sound like Robin from that Batman show in the sixties."

"I understood that reference!" Steve said, pleased with himself.

Tony looked like he wanted to go find a desk and bang his head on it a couple of times. "Look Capcicle, I-"

"Enough!" Fury barked.

Thor intervened. "Your eyepatch reminds me of my father."

Everyone gave him an indignant look.

"And Loki is right here," Thor continued, picking Loki up. His head lolled backwards over his arm.

"Oh."

Natasha decided the boys were getting too rowdy. "Can we all just go to bed now? We can take care of Loki in the morning."

Everyone nodded in agreement, except for Steve, who seemed the be the only one who remembered why they were all awake in the first place. "But what about the elevator?"

"Captain!" Thor moaned. "Let's not go about that nonsense again! I'm tired!"

"Well, let me see the hammer, then. Please?" Steve asked.

Thor laughed. "I'm sorry, but you are not worthy, remember?"

Steve grimaced, then bent over and picked up Mjolnir. The look on Thor's face was priceless. Being kinder than most, Captain America decided not to laugh, but Tony would have none of that. He laughed so hard that Thor turned red with embarrassment.

"Ah," Thor said. "I see."

"Don't worry," Steve reassured him. "You can rule Asgard."

Natasha rolled her eyes. "Good night, guys. I don't want to see this." She left briskly.

Bruce looked exhausted. "I'm going to hit the sack too. Please don't use any more airhorns."

"If you people are done with your little games now, I'll go put Loki in the holding cell now," Hawkeye said, taking the unconscious form of the frost giant from Thor and stalking off to the elevator.

Nick Fury shook his head, exasperated. "Behave, kids," he said, then stepped out of the window into his helicopter.

"Next time use the door!" Stark yelled after him.


	7. Chapter Seven

Soon, only Steve and Thor were left with Tony, who was ranting under his breath.

"Either he's never heard of a door, or he just likes pulling glass out of his shorts," Tony muttered. "This seems to be a favorite superhero move. No respect for windows."

Steve sighed, but Thor only looked very confused. Peeking out of the Nick-Fury shaped hole in the window, he said, "The sun is staring to rise. Let us go back to bed and sort this out tomorrow."

"It is tomorrow," Steve noted.

Thor looked down at the hammer in his hand, and then handed it to Steve. "Here you are. You can test the theory yourself. Please do not lose it, or take over Asgard, or I'm afraid I will have to destroy you."

Steve looked after him as he walked away, a little concerned by these threatening-but-not-really-threats threats.

"Tony?"

"What?"

"We have the hammer now."

Tony turned on his heel and marched towards the elevator. "Come on, quick, before any more monsters come raging through the halls, Frost Giants try to take over the world, or paranoid S.H.I.E.L.D. agents break any more windows."

Steve followed, looking down at the hammer in his hand, still a little shocked. He didn't really notice as Tony pressed the button to summon the elevator, nor when he said, "Come _on!_ " and dragged him in.

Annoyed, Tony jabbed at the button to take them to the first floor. When they arrived, the elevator doors slid open. "Cap?"

"Hm."

"CAPTAIN ROGERS!"

Steve was so startled that he dropped the hammer on Tony's foot as he snapped to attention. Tony gasped in pain and doubled over.

"STEVE! GET THIS HAMMER OFF OF MY FOOT!"

He did so as quickly as he could, and Tony curled up in a ball.

"Uh…Tony?"

"WHAT?"

"Are…are you alright?"

"NO! CALL 911! I THINK MY FOOT IS BROKEN!"

Steve reached under his bathrobe to take out a telephone, circa 1942. "Do you have a plug anywhere?"

Tony couldn't even believe it, and the pain wasn't helping. A few dozen unprintable curse words later, he handed Steve his cell phone, and guided him to the telephone app.

The call connected, and the operator said, "911. Please state your name and your emergency."

Steve said, "My name is Steve Rogers, and my friend—"

"YOU ARE NO FRIEND TO ME, CAPTAIN CLUTZ!"

"—Tony Stark…well, I think his foot is broken."

"Wait," said the operator. "Steve Rogers? Like, Captain America?"

Steve raised an eyebrow. "Yes, but what does that have to do with—"

"YOU ARE MY HERO!" screamed the operator in excitement. "I LOVE YOUR ABS, AND BLONDE HAIR, AND YOUR BEAUTIFUL FACE, AND, OH, DID I MENTION YOUR ABS?"

Steve was confused by the operator's voice. "Are you a man, or a woman?"

"You can't just ask people what their gender is," Tony moaned from the floor.

The operator clarified, "A MAN. BUT IT'S OKAY, CAUSE YOU AND BUCKY USED TO BE A THING, RIGHT?"

"Er, what?" Steve was even more confused. "I don't understand." He looked down at Tony. "Tony-"

"WHAT?"

Covering the entire phone with his hands, as he was a little unsure as to where the speaker was, Steve told him, "I think a man is trying to obtain my affections."

"Welcome to the 21st century. Now, tell him TO STOP FANGIRLING OVER YOU AND GET AN AMBULANCE DOWN HERE!"

"Right." Steve turned his attention back to the operator. "Excuse me sir, but please stop fangirling over me. I need to get an ambulance to Stark Tower. Tony has been injured."

The operator snorted. "Who cares? I'm Team Cap all the way!"

This made absolutely no sense to Steve, so he hung up.

"Well, is an ambulance coming or not?" Tony demanded.

Steve shook his head. "Looks like I'll have to drive you."

"You drive like a hyperactive old lady who drank five RedBulls."

Understanding nothing beyond the individual words, Steve said, "Well, it _is_ an emergency."

"You're going to get us killed."

He couldn't deny the possibility.


End file.
